Maddox would be turning three months old tomorrow if he was still with us. Like Andrew said tonight, it feels like yesterday and 20 years ago at the same time. It seems completely unreal as I write this. Our baby boy is in heaven. We have a son who is being cared for by our Heavenly Father at this very moment. And our Lord hasn't left us for one minute.
It is not easy - grief is a malicious roller coaster, it twists and turns when you least expect it. It doesn't seem fair, but I trust that God is making me into who I was meant to be.
I think about Maddox a lot and it comforts me to wonder about what he's doing in heaven. I know what his earthly body was like. I look at his adorable face every day. But what does he look like now? It doesn't make sense to me that he'd still be a helpless little baby - maybe a boy or even a young man or adult? I can't wait to see him again!
Shared from the Maddox journal I started while I was pregnant
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