Maddox would have been two months old yesterday, nine weeks old today. I struggle when I wonder what our lives would look like with him here with us. What would he be doing now? What would our schedules look like? How would we split the responsibility of caring for him? Would he be smiling yet? What would his cry sound like? His laugh? Everything we "miss" his hypothetical and that's hard. I wish he was with us, but I a doing my best to accept our new normal.
Andrew and I have been attending GriefShare at Brandywine Valley Baptist on Thursdays. The videos, support, discussions and prayers have been helpful. This will be our fourth week and I have yet to work up the energy or motivation to do any of my grief work during the week. I can't tell you the number of hours I've wasted watching TV or going to bed before 9:30. Even this isn't technically my grief work, but at least I've taken a few moments to write.
I hope to do better with this soon.
Shared from my grief journal
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