Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Maddox Journal - 2.5

Today was my first day back to work (at a new job) since Maddox was born. He would have been six weeks and one day old, home from his first day at daycare.

When I was pregnant with him I cried at the thought of taking him to daycare, how being separated from him during the day would be too hard for me to handle. I never dreamed that he would die. The only thing that makes this separation tolerable is believing he is with Jesus in heaven right now; our time apart is limited and we will be reunited in heaven for eternity soon.

I have had a few really hard days - almost non-stop crying from Saturday through yesterday. I saw a counselor Monday night and went to a family doctor on Tuesday and was prescribed antidepressants. Starting my new job helped today... it was a good day all things considered.

I wish Maddox could be here with us right now. I miss him so much. I am so sad without him. I am just so sad.

Shared from the Maddox journal I started while I was pregnant

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